Chicago Tribune from Chicago, Illinois • Page 84

WOMANEWS Section 6 Chicago Tribune, Sunday, September 12, 1993 CN SMART TALK Quick tips to save your job Shortcuts A one-minute digest of views and snippets from popular culture. People "Originally we thought of doing half a guy. But we found that people like the look of a real guy that they can dress up." Barbara LeStrang, creator of a stuffed male mannequin companion to help women driving solo ward oft carjackers improve quality. Make small, incremental improvements every day. Maintain two-way trust with your boss: A subordinate should be attentive and available physically, mentally and emotionally when the manager is under pressure and needs support.

Avoid perfection paralysis: Perfection is an illusion. The harder we try Lather up and lay on the color No matter how much of an expert your hair colorist is, that perfect shade she created just for your tresses is bound to grow out and fade. How can you keep yours brighter longer? Consider trying one of the new pigment shampoos. A different breed of brilliance boosters, these shampoos are found only at salons and not on drugstore shelves. Unlike standard shampoos for colored hair that only help to slow the color loss, the new shampoos add color to keep tinted hair Illustration by Rollln McGrall It only takes 30 minutes to save your job.

At least according to Paul Timm, chairman of the department of Management Communication at Brigham Young University's Marriott School of Management In "51 Ways to Save Your Job: Your 30-Minute Guide to Job Security" (Career Press, Timm shares his prescription for "bulletproofing your position, for for it, the more disappointed we will be. Welcome criticism: When people criticize you they provide the information you need to improve yourself. Cynthia Hanson building your value to the organization so that, if downsizing does occur, you'll remain." Among them: Get really good at what you do: Look for ways to continually .1 iffd "My husband sometimes says to me, 'I think you worked out all that much because you were running away from Well, I'm not running anymore. Because I finally have that last final personal bright 1 1 Manifesto for a tribal movement? To find salon sources for ARTec's Colorist Collection call 800-323-6817. For Redken's Shades EQ Color Enhancing shampoos call 800-423-5369.

For Paul Mitchell's Creatives call 800-321-5767. Pamela Patrick Novotny If you're not a feminist but believe in women's rights, the "How to Be a Fabulous Feminist" poster may change your mind about calling yourself a feminist, that is. With advice such as "Decorate yourself anyway you like," and "Visualize perfect birth control," the poster's creator, Helen Grieco, hopes to "re-identify feminism as a tribe." "Feminism has become a dirty word that a lot of women didn't happiness in a relationship that I'd been missing." actressfitness entrepreneur Jane Fonda, on easing up on her workouts since marrying media mogul Ted Turner "Guys have jumped on me from on top of a wall, but a quick jab in the solar plexus with your elbow and they never do it again. What are they going to do, complain that I beat them up?" Lucinda Strub, film special-effects expert, on sexual harassment "This is a little bit tacky, but tacky is our middle name." former Bush campaign strategist Mary Matalin, on announcing her engagement to Clinton campaign adviser James Carville on her CNBC TV show "Equal Time" and then singing "Chapel of Love" with co-host Jane Wallace want to identify with," she says. "And I did this poster to get women to say, 'Hey, I am a and to be proud of it." Grieco, a former executive director of the Northern California chapter of the National Organization for Women who now runs her own self-defense school in the Bay Area and has a master's degree in feminist therapy from Antioch University, created the poster with Bay Area artist SARK.

Some of the poster's more "provocative statements: "Praise A fine Ine by Nancy Drew Opening the bedroom door If you fantasize about another partner while you're making love to your mate, join the club. Fifty-six percent of the 1,000 women responding to a new survey report doing so. And not only that, 56 percent report that they're not happy about the way they're treated in bed by their partner. The reason? Lovers aren't sensitive enough and don't pay attention to what women want Further, 74 percent of respondents say they tell their friends intimate details about their sex lives. "We found out that women are very open in discussing what they're doing and what they like and don't like," says Bonnie Krueger, editor-in-chief of Complete Woman, which conducted the survey and has published the first of a two-part series on the survey in its October issue, which is on newsstands now.

Other discoveries: Sixty-seven percent enjoy X-rated videos. Seventy-five percent masturbate. Eighty-six percent prefer sex in the evening. LB. HOW To 0eA fW fCMinisf erMaan-uim tttmjfetf.

laff other "You have to dig and scrape and claw and meet and greet and schmooze." actress Bette Midler, on the difficulty of finding roles for women few rACK- Pa ir tnwi rebel spinsters" and "Support bad girls." "All our lives we were told to be good and do what we're told," Grieco says. "Bad girls say Tm doing it "The Hillary-ization of the nation," has helped fuel the brisk sales of the poster, says Lisa Ryers, of Ten Speed Press, which distributes the poster. 'M ctgtv-ftMH tetA.rvk Pe Mow ife a a wruun-4 MOMMWnT Wrrt letter elect wwantfinflr CXjrt woHen vernp ermcKKi riit nr i nun-wet 1 1 nmi riti nrr Pages "Shih Tzu happens." from "Heeling Your Inner Dog: A Self-Whelp Book" (Times, $12) by Nicole Gregory and Judith Stone Compiled by Leigh Behrens They cost $3.50, plus $2.50 for shipping and handling. Call 800-841-2665 to order. Brenda Wilhelmson 'Motel Get nasi, yourar.

VV II TV vxttm Mary Morris follows her restless spirit on a journey of risk-taking 777 IPWil 1 By Dana Micucd Special to the Tribune ary Morris' blue eyes flash with an intensity 1 1 that hints of boundless 1 1 energy and curiosity, She says her father she says. "And I wanted to write about how women travel differently from men. Women have certain constraints, such as' physical threats, that men dont have. Traveling taught me to be more direct about things and to take charge." For Morris, traveling and storytelling are inseparable, and few details escape her eye. While living in California in 1987 and 1988, she says, she and her daughter drove a lot on weekends, exploring the marriage chapels, casinos and desert towns of the Southwest a landscape that figures prominently in her new book.

She admits to loitering in copy shops and beauty shops, observing everyday life as inspiration for her writing. "Stories are all around us," she says. "People's lives interest me. I think of myself as a storyteller and write the books and stories that I need to write. I'm interested in exploring internal landscapes and the mysteries of human psychology.

"When I sit down to write, I feel like an athlete running a marathon. I wonder how I will find that place inside again and again that will allow me to continue writing," says Morris. "I just felt a need to go to Mexico," says Morris, who insists that she never plans anything. "Planning where your heart is going to take you is the kiss of death. Living in Mexico was like falling in love for the first time.

It was the most emotionally profound experience. I found a little townhouse for $100 a month in what most people would call a slum. I fell in love with the people and the place. I was totally isolated and became much more in touch with myself as a writer." That yearlong sojourn allowed Morris to work on her first novel, "Crossroads" (Houghlin Mifflin, 1983), a love story about an urban planner who can't plan her own life, and served as the inspiration for "Nothing to Declare," a memoir of traveling alone through Mexico. Then Morris stayed put for a while to teach creative writing at Princeton University in New Jersey from 1980 to 1987, returning to that post two years ago.

Ever restless, Morris took off again during this time on a sabbatical that took her to Russia in search of her grandmother's village in Ukraine, the subject of "Wall to WalL" "For a long time I wanted to find my family roots," Si foaf 11 Photo tor the Tribune by Osamu HondaAP Mary Morris: "While I always wanted a family, I thought that women couldn't be writers and have normal lives. Writing and children seemed to be mutually exclusive." was published in 1979, one year after she received a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts and moved to San Miguel de Allende in Mexico. Although she is quick to point out that this story of a New York jewelry designer's financial and emotional struggles as a single mother isn't directly connected to her own circumstances, she is well aware of the difficulties of raising a child alone. "For a long time I was focused on my career," says Morris. "While I always wanted a family, I thought that women couldn't be writers and have normal lives.

Writing and children seemed to be mutually exclusive. When I got pregnant I was approaching 40. 1 was lonely, and things were hard in my life emotionally. I wanted to be married, but it was clear that it wouldn't work with my companion at that time. So I decided to have my child anyway.

That first year alone with her was probably the most difficult period of my life." After her daughter, Kate, was born in 1987, Morris taught creative writing at the University of California, Irvine. "My job in California was very demanding, and being away from family and friends as a single mother was especially tough. I was exhausted and at times felt ambivalent about motherhood. But I don't think I could have managed without the emotional and financial support of my family. I was fortunate to be able to do this from a privileged position.

I didn't have to give up my work to have a child on my own." For someone who has always placed a premium on independence, the transition to motherhood extracted a price. But Morris takes it in stride. "I've tried to figure out how to have both a family and a sense of independence and not be tied down," she says. "But it's a tricky situation. You always have to give up something.

When you're always told her she was as restless as the pigeons in Lincoln Park. That restlessness led her far from her childhood home in Chicago on the risk-taking journeys of a writer, solo traveler and single mother. From the Midwest to Mexico and Beijing to Berlin, Morris has traveled the world alone, transforming her experiences into the rich external landscapes and inner wanderings of the human spirit that infuse her writing. The author of three novels, two short story collections and two travel memoirs, "Nothing to Declare" (Houghton Mifflin, 1988) and "Wall to Wall" (Doubleday, $19.50) she speaks as a veteran traveler, with a judicious mix of purpose and spontaneity. 'Tve always led a reckless life," says Morris.

"I took a lot of emotional risks. I left home, while most of the people I knew stayed in Illinois. I was single for a long time and traveled alone to places that people don't normally go. We need to invent our lives and do what we can to find a connectioa" The writer Henry Miller once said that all voyages are accomplished inwardly, and Morris agrees. In her books, she explores the risks of solitude and relationships, the complexities of the American family and the consequences of difficult choices with courage and compassion.

Of all her choices, Morris, 46, says the most transforming was single motherhood, the subject of her recent novel, "A Mother's Love" (Doubleday, Your hair is worth A tneexpenence. What independent you get lonely. Life is one big compromise. I have less free time now, so my work is more focused. And now that I have a family I really don't want to be away from them." Morris married Canadian journalist Larry O'Connor two years after her daughter was born, and they settled in Brooklyn, N.Y.

She says her experience as a mother has given her a sense of responsibility. "Your compassion for the world is so much greater when you have a child," she says. Morris, who writes particularly about the changing nature of the American family and the myths surrounding it knew she wanted to be a writer at a young age and recalls her Russian Jewish grandmother's storytelling. A 1969 graduate of Boston's Tufts College, where she majored in English, Morris received her master degree's in comparative literature from Columbia University in New York. She began doctoral work there while writing short stories.

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